I don't really know how blogs work, so I guess I'll just start off where my life is now. This one image is a better depiction of my happiness than any other in existence. It also reminds me of what it feels like to lose your sanity over someone who just doesn't give a damn about you, over someone who means the world to you anyway. The person in this picture with me here is solely the most important person in my life, but he's ruined me completely on the inside; I can't trust, I can't love, I can't care. The compassion I should feel for others just isn't there. He took that from me in making me realize that the one person I always felt would be there could rather easily walk out of my life and into the lives of...many others.
Things are different now though, I think. So dumb of me to say, right? He lied, cheated, made me feel worthless, told me I wasn't good enough (in not so many words), watched me fall, even kicked me a little once I was down. But now, exactly one month later, he loves me, he needs me, he can't imagine losing me, he wants me, and he can see no other of worth close to mine. I want to believe him, but I don't. I literally cannot resist him. In any instance that we are together, I have to kiss him, I have to hold him, but in any instance that I am alone to think about what he's done to me, I have to tell him we can't be together, I have to push him away. I love him more than anything, I really do. I really want to, too, but I won't let myself. I wish I would."No,I can't take one more step toward you ‘Cause all that's waiting is regret. Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most. I learned to live, half alive. And now you want me one more time. Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars, Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me. Who do you think you are?"
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