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Bittersweet.

I don't know whether to be thankful or resentful toward you anymore, because I'm starting to notice that I've become used to the idea of all of this.  I've shut a lot within myself down, but with doing that, I've built a lot within myself up. I've learned that I can stand on my own and that yes, I want you, but no, I don't need you.

"After great pain, a formal feeling comes. The Nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs"


"..Tomorrow, I'm gonna listen To that voice of reason inside my head."

Tomorrow.

"Baby when we're good, You know we're great
But there's too much bad for us to think
That there's anything worth trying to save.
But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time
Rock you strong in these arms of mine
Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow
We're like fire and gasoline
I'm no good for you
You're no good for me
We only bring each other tears and sorrow
But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow..."

Pandemonium Within

Every little thing punches me in the gut. It might not even be anything. It usually never is, but this was exactly my reaction when I saw Amber's post: "silly little slut." I read totally wrong and much too shallowly into that, but am I reading too deeply into everything now? I can't tell, I can't tell, I can't tell. I don't even know wtf is real and wtf you mean.

Broken Bridges.

I have crossed broken bridges in my time, but are the bridges worth crossing; is it worth any more breaking?



I'm really feeling like getting in my car and driving for a really long time. I'll just drive and drive until I can't see anything but grass and trees and endless skies. Yes.

Confusion

                                                                                                  It messed me up.

Vacuum.

I don't feel a thing. I think the best way to describe this is by saying I'm suspended
in
  a
     vacuum.
           Nothing,
                 nothing,
                      nothing,
                           nothing,
                                nothing,
                                   
 I hate being this way. How long's it gonna last? It's gonna drive me insane; it really will.