Pandemonium Within

Every little thing punches me in the gut. It might not even be anything. It usually never is, but this was exactly my reaction when I saw Amber's post: "silly little slut." I read totally wrong and much too shallowly into that, but am I reading too deeply into everything now? I can't tell, I can't tell, I can't tell. I don't even know wtf is real and wtf you mean.

Broken Bridges.

I have crossed broken bridges in my time, but are the bridges worth crossing; is it worth any more breaking?



I'm really feeling like getting in my car and driving for a really long time. I'll just drive and drive until I can't see anything but grass and trees and endless skies. Yes.

Confusion

                                                                                                  It messed me up.

Vacuum.

I don't feel a thing. I think the best way to describe this is by saying I'm suspended
in
  a
     vacuum.
           Nothing,
                 nothing,
                      nothing,
                           nothing,
                                nothing,
                                   
 I hate being this way. How long's it gonna last? It's gonna drive me insane; it really will.

Now.

Now, I kinda feel more like this, to be honest.


"After all the pain ya' put me through
I can't stand to see the sight of you
And you won't drown me in your misery
You'll have to find someone else
To be your company

It's not a question of love and hate
You made our life together so desolate
Well I'll just call this my resurrection
My savior from self destruction"

Right Words. Kinda Late.

So, I feel like this is exactly how I was feeling, you know, before the most recent happening happened...


"There might have been a time
I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn’t give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me
What do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me
What do you want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see
that baby you’re beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
It’s me – I’m a freak
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly"




You still don't get me though, right?

No.

I'm not going to break this time.